Growing up a millennial teen has its advantages, the introduction of the internet, the decline of boy bands, all day breakfasts, Beyonce. I could go on for hours, but in true blogging tradition I’m going to make a complaint.
You see just yesterday I was asked to coffee, which for anyone who has taken the time to know me knows that coffee is the first and only way to get me onside (give or take your views on Donald Trump). What happened next is the problem; I declined. Without a moments hesitation, I declined a date in which I’d be doing the thing I love to do most with a male I genuinely had an interest in, without any conscious reasoning- and just like that months of polite conversation and subtle exchange of compliments with the mutual desire to keep each other company is down the drain, along with my coffee.
All personal commitment issues aside, the question of the day is; what happened to dating? What has changed so drastically that it’s now a rare occurrence to be asked on a date? This mentality of “keeping things casual” this ideal that exclusivity must equal exclusion has ruined the beauty in simply being asked to coffee.
Not only did I panic at the mere suggestion of mature, respectable interaction but I reevaluated the type of man I was looking for; if I don’t want to do adult things and be in an adult relationship does that mean I automatically lose the respect that comes along with those situations?
Why have we jumped from courting and meeting each other’s parents to “friends with benefits”, “let’s be together but no one can know” and my personal favourite “we’re practically in a relationship but let’s stay single in case we get a better offer” what happened to the in between? What happened to dating?
We millennials seem to believe people are disposable, we don’t care about losing the boy who knows we hate Wednesdays and secretly love super heroes because there’s fifty other boys liking, commenting, poking and messaging. There are options everywhere, we want instant and airbrushed, bigger and better. We want all the prettiness of romance, but without doing any of the work.
Its taken me too many of these pretty, airbrushed situations for me to realise romance is not about a loss of freedom and adventure, it’s about sharing your adventures with another person. Its about putting ourselves in situations that cannot be cropped and filtered, that may slow things down and be anything but casual.