Sad Pretty Bimbos

What is the woman who is aware of her sexuality? Is she the sway of her hips? The cup size of her breasts? Her profile picture and its innuendo?

For the most part of my life I have felt like a woman, there’s something about life experience that taints an individuals innocence. It wasn’t an exact moment that my childhood seized to exist, I didn’t kiss a boy and decide I was ready to take on the world. In fact I didn’t even notice the change within myself until others started to mention it.

As long as I can remember I have been the old soul, the maternal figure, precocious even.
My family is dominated by free thinking, opinionated, self-aware females that marvel in celebrating other females I’ve always been surrounded by strong women and they have always made me aware of the importance of understanding myself and the world around me. As a result of my forward personality, lack of empathy for immature reasoning and comfort in my own and others’ sexuality; I have witnessed already at the ripe old age of eighteen the repercussions of being self aware.

It seems as if once you overcome the day to day difficulties of adolescence, a young woman then has to undergo the obstacle course known as the rest of her life. A balancing act of being flirtatious but not too forward, tasteful but raunchy, innocent but with the experience of a call girl.

It’s funny that a tank top can go unnoticed on one female, but the same top can arouse a response, no accumulation of birthdays can prepare you for on another. Why? Because the individual holds herself a certain way that miraculously enables you to have an opinion; I think not.

I’ve grown up in a small town that monitors its young women so severely that these girls prepare themselves for hours before a night out only to sit and watch everyone else have fun, so not to look “sloppy” I’ve witnessed girls withhold their opinions in order to spare the males around them and their arguments even though what they have to say is valid. I’ve watched young free girls full of love and fun disappear into strangers in order to maintain the nymph facade the local boy relishes in. What does this teach our young women That they are nothing but the length of their skirt and a well-timed giggle?
I recently read an article by Emily Ratajkowski, a busty self-aware model with the confidence women work years to obtain and men years to witness. She states struggles to find the space between as an artist, as a model, and simply as a woman — a space where I can have ownership and enjoyment of my gender.

I wonder how long we women have coexisted in a society that will pay us for our sexuality but not allow us to enjoy it on our own terms. What is the woman who is aware of her sexuality? I believe she is her confidence, her intellect, her favourite song, her first tattoo, the tank top she wears in the summer, her mothers lessons and her sisters examples. A woman who is conscious of her birthright is a woman conscious of her future.

2 Replies to “Sad Pretty Bimbos”

  1. Absolutely amazing.
    I can’t completely express how great this is and how it impacts us women . you’ve set a new perspective for only us women can take note on.
    So proud and could read this over and over. You’re very intelligent and I have so much faith in you to continue with these types of writing. Well done and thank you for publishing.

    Liked by 1 person

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